Screen your screen time to stay healthy

As I get final preparations completed for Connect More: A Screen-Free Week kickoff, I did some research on the impact of screens on health.

The usual came up: increased obesity, decreased physical activity, increased risk of cardiovascular disease and cancer.

But I was surprised by a story out of the Fiji islands, that I share in this video. Also, Brian Adair of The Retreat at Center Hill Lake, who is co-hosting the event with me, shares some of the ways he and his family incorporate screen time in a healthy way.

How do you want to use your screens to improve your health — not derail your efforts?

6 Reasons Why You Need to Learn to Thrive

While growing up I suspected I had developed an unhealthy relationship with food – and sometimes even exercise.  But it was years later at a work potluck Christmas party that I knew I absolutely had a problem and had to change.

Everyone else was at the buffet ooh-ing and ah-ing over different dishes colleagues brought. 

I was in the bathroom terrified. 

“If I eat that _____ I’ll have to workout extra tomorrow. Who knows how many grams of ____ it has.”

“I want to try ____ but if I do I’ll probably not be able to stop eating it. I’ll lose control.”

“I’ll be good and just have the veggies I brought.  If I break my diet I’ll be bad.”

I realized I was the only one, apparently, who did not feel she could enjoy the food, the people, or the party and I stayed as far away from the table as possible.  Why?  I thought something was inherently wrong with me. 

Truth? By that party I had spent almost 20 years fine-tuning my “diet mentality,” through the various diet and exercise rules I “learned.”

And I wanted freedom.  Desperately.

I wanted to exercise just because it felt amazing and made me strong and healthy. Not because it burned calories I’d eaten the day before.

I wanted to eat a balanced meal because it was satisfying.

I wanted to enjoy a cookie without fear of eating five.

I wanted to go to a party and enjoy it all.

Scratch that.

I didn’t even know that was possible.  All I could fathom was maybe not being consumed with worrying about every morsel, gram, or repercussion after a party.

Thankfully, that part of me is a distant memory, because …

I found my path to THRIVE.

Did you see?

I released a brand new course where I’m going to share with you the mindset, principles, techniques, tools and skills practiced by people who find – and follow – their unique path to health, wellness, and a Thriving Life.

It’s called …

THRIVE LIFE (Go here to learn more; we get started in just a few days.)

While there are so many health benefits to this way of life, the most surprising benefit has nothing to do typical health-parameters.

It has to do with relationships and accomplishing other goals.

Huh?

Let me explain.  Envision that same work party where I locked myself away in the bathroom.  If my mind had been free from food-fear, I would have been mingling with colleagues and enjoying getting to know their families, enriching my relationships.

And when my mental and emotional space is not cluttered with how many calories I eat or burn or how much I do this or that, my mind is free to be creative and pursue dreams.  Plus, there is way less stress.

Here are six reasons why you need to learn your path to THRIVE.

#1 – You stop outsourcing your emotional health to food or over-exercise

You can learn the difference between physical and emotional hunger.

Food was created to bring you pleasure, but it is not what heals hurts or brings peace.

Exercise has many ways that it lifts your mood, but there is a point of using exercise to escape struggles vs. helping you overcome them.

When you sit with discomfort and find what actually fills you emotionally, your strength of self grows.  Your confidence to live and handle difficult situations increases.

#2 – You have mental space to pursue your dreams

This one is huge.

When your mind is cluttered with searching for the next diet or exercise program, or finding recipes that fit the new fad, or shopping for the latest exercise gear you cannot focus on what really matters most to you in life.

It may even go deeper.  If you are staying focused on analyzing food / exercise to avoid dealing with something else, it is time to move forward. 

If you are hiding your best self behind counting this or that, trying to control every bite or workout, it is time to open the curtain and step out on your stage.

#3 – You have increased physical energy

You sleep well, you wake up with energy, and it stays consistent throughout the day so you can accomplish your goals and still enjoy family and friends at the end of the day.

#4 – Your ability to enforce boundaries, with yourself and others, improves

Food police?  Exercise drill sergeant? No more.  Either from others or yourself.

You confidently handle critics.

You also are able to tell yourself “no” when a choice does not value you.

#5 – You have more fun and are more fun to be around

When your excitement comes from discussing the latest fad exercise or diet, it is a boring life.

However, when you have recent adventures or a book you read or a funny family gathering or ____ to talk about, conversations have life in them.

You meet up with people, confident as you accept yourself and others, with less judgement.

Social situations around food are no longer stressful.

You have the physical fitness to enjoy the adventures you want.

#6 – You feel successful, because you are successful

When you learn what works for your body and your lifestyle, and you have the tools and techniques to stick with it, you reach your goals.

You feel successful along the journey because you are living what you value.

#7 – This is a bonus reason because I just had, an hour ago, a conversation with a client and this reason came up – so I added it: 

You become a leader and influencer for good in those around you.

This client was waiting on the inspiration to make changes to come from his circle of family and friends.  I challenged him “Think about who you want to be.  Do you want to be the person who waits to be led or do you want to lead?  Do you want to be influenced or do you want to influence?”  I challenge you, too.  When you find your path to Thrive, you will inspire others to do the same.

This is what finding your path to THRIVE brings you.  It is one of the most amazing adventures you’ll ever go on.

Go here to check out my newest course, so you can THRIVE in your LIFE.  (We start in a few days.)

The best ways to get a family healthy together

Families are pulled into so demands and distractions, and away from living healthy together.  I've worked with several couples and families to improve their exercise and nutrition and I want to share the best ways I've found to help all ages get healthy together.

Your journey starts with questions:

• What are the personalities of your family members?  Who is competitive? Who is high-energy? Who prefers solo or methodical activities?  On the other hand, who gets bored easily or wants lots of people involved? While no one will get their liking every time, include each person's regularly.
• What are the strengths of each family member?  Organized? Research-oriented? Creative? Curious?  You'll want to use each person's strengths to get them excited about the activities.  For example, who can research what supplies to take on a day-hike?  Who can find three hiking trails to pick between?  Who can pack sandwiches for after a hike?  The answers should not all be "Mom."
• Is your goal to get everyone active and eating well for the moment or to stimulate a love of movement and good food for a lifetime?  (I'm going to guess the latter, so my ideas below reflect a lifetime goal.)

Physical Activity ideas I have seen be fantastic for busy families:

• Walk and talk.  This foundational activity is so important.  Even just once a week, perhaps on a Sunday afternoon, allows a free-flow of conversation and builds trust.  My personal experience is from my mother and I walking when I was very young.  By the time I hit my teenage years and needed a sounding-board, we were already in the habit of walking and talking.
• Jump-rope contests for the competitive ones.  And talk about funny video/photo moments!
• Too cold out?  Do what my friend, Devika Kumar (the owner of Hendersonville CycleBar) does with her daughter - turn on some funky music and have a dance-off. 
• Martial arts.  Most martial arts gyms have both adult and youth classes available.  If there is traditional exercise equipment available, parents can lift weights/cycle while the kids are in class.  Then the kids can do homework while the parents are taking class.  It's not "together" - but it is a shared experience you can discuss.
• Water sports.  Kayak.  Canoe.  Sail-boat.  Stand-up paddleboard.  Unless you live by the water, these are not daily activities.  But they are great to add in the activity mix and fun motivation, learning skills together.  "The reason we are doing X exercise is so we won't be sore when we paddleboard this summer."
• Cycling. Depending on your neighborhood your kids may ride bikes all summer, or you may take them to a park to ride.  Simply get a bike for yourself and join them.  And those squats you are doing during the winter will help you with that this summer.
• Gardening.  Start small.  (Containers or a 4'x4' raised bed.)  This is a great way to introduce kids to how food is grown and get them away from the screen and into the sunshine.
• Hiking.  A classic family exercise.  But with a few challenges to overcome.  One family I took hiking had one child who was older and faster. The younger child, said she wanted hike the "tough trail" - and, as anticipated, half-way through started complaining.  Watching for frogs, bugs, deer, and so forth proved the distraction she needed.  Lesson?  Even if a child says "let's do the big one" - stick to the easier trails first.
• Movement games.  This idea goes against "traditional" exercise.  I worked with a family whose father was a "go-hard-or-go-home" exerciser.  The 10-ish year old girls were not.  My goal was to create movement the girls enjoyed and memories that would encourage them to stay active all of their lives.  Frisbee golf, roller-blading, tag games, and so on got them moving and sweating...at least with each other and with Mom.

What about healthy eating for busy families?

• One family decided to take one summer and deeply connect.  Little to no electronics and gadgets and passive-entertainment.  They spent their free time cooking from scratch, walking and playing games, and doing projects around the house.  "Busy" did not allow them to do that during the school year, but for a few weeks during the summer they traded passive-busy for connection and healthy eating.  Even now the mother says she keeps some of the cooking habits she taught herself that summer.  (Side note: the family lost weight without trying.)
• A family I helped start eating healthy decided to divide the meal duties as follows: together they (or the mom/dad) decide the menu for the week and write it on the kitchen chalkboard; the parents order the food; the son (who wants opportunities to drive) picks up the food; the father and daughter have weekly connection time while pre-chopping the veggies for the week; the mom gets her creative outlet in cooking - without having to cut vegetables every day.  Then the kids alternate nights cleaning the kitchen.  The family discovered and used each person's strengths.

Three tips for the "busy-ness":

Shameless boast.  This is my cousin who is heading off to college next year on a baseball scholarship.  We're so proud!

• As kids get older and want to hang out with friends, invite the friends to participate in the exercise or cooking.  This means less time playing chauffeur.
• "Together" does not have to be "physically together" all of the time. If your goal as a family is to run/walk a 5K together, everyone can train during the week when their schedule allows, then train together on Saturday mornings.
• Sports-families (like my cousin's above) have a challenge.  Perhaps one child is in baseball and basketball.  Another in gymnastics and swimming.  A third is hooked on video-games. What I've seen work beautifully is each year encouraging each child to select one sport, so there is more time for family activity.  The video-games?  You have to decide how you want to limit that.  But while you are waiting on the baseball game to start, frisbee in the parking lot sounds like a lot more fun to me.